I always see greasy half-naked Chippendales hunks on The Ellen Show whenever I'm channel surfing in the middle of the day, and I'm like, "Bitch, aren't you a fucking lesbian?" People gave Oprah shit for pandering to housewives, but Ellen takes the cake when it comes to getting middle-aged women wet for ratings.
Nick Jonas is a bad singer with mediocre music, but his shameless transformation from virginal teenager into Sean Cody hunk makes him one of the best stars in pop music today. After decades of female artists being expected to sexually objectify themselves for record sales, we now finally have a man that's doing it too, and it's amazing.
Why oh why did I have to jerk off the second I woke up this morning? If I only I had waited a few precious minutes and checked the blogs first, then I could've beat my meat to Justin Timberlake's"Take Back The Night" music video, or better yet, THIS EPIC SHIRTLESS PHOTO OF NICK JONAS ALL BUFF AND HUNKY.
Instead, like a total loser, I had to settle for user videos on DudesNude.