Poor "Applause" couldn't top the US iTunes chart, but the reverse buttsexolian experience known as "DO WHATCHA WANT WITH MAH BAH-DEH!" is currently sitting pretty at No. 1.
Slaying with just a promo single! Yass Gaga, YASSS!
Fresh from her latest calculated Twitter meltdown to #promote ARTPOP, Lady Gaga --artiste, walking Warholian experience, and human Kunst-- has released an R&B song with R. Kelly called "Do What U Want." But just so you know, she isn't bandwagoning or anything like that. Just because everyone else is reviving the '90s and doing R&B right now, doesn't mean that's what Gaga's doing. She doesn't write music for "the charts," okay?
Now that my required Gaga shade is out of the way, let me start stanning for this epic urban #banger.
What is happening? What is life? How is that Lady Gaga --who just a year ago was the most overrated and unlikeable pop star on the planet (after Beyonce)-- is mercilessly destroying all my faves with her ARTPOP era?
The woman who effortlessly pushed a giant blue wrecking ball out of her meaty Kunst has just dropped a new 11-second ARTPOP snippet of a song called "G.U.Y.," and it's soooo good.
I'm still completely shell-shocked by the fact that I'm actually in love with Lady Gaga's ARTPOP era so far. What I thought would be one of the lamest pop records of the year is turning out to be one of the best, and I'm enjoying every fucking minute of it. That's the MIRACLE of ARTPOP for ya.
Just so we're clear, we all laughed at Lady Gaga when she couldn't get No. 1 on iTunes because of Katy Perry, right? Okay, good. I just wanted to get that out of the way before proceeding with this.