2013 is the year of Ashlee Simpson's comeback.
Of course, we all know that Ashlee Simpson is never really going to make a comeback. She's destined to live out the rest of her days as a pop culture relic of the mid-2000s and nothing more, but it's fun to pretend that one day the hoodie-wearing "Hot Stuff" songstress will shake the washed-up monkey off her back and return to the top of the pops where she belongs.
With a pregnant Kate Middleton ready to pop at any second, now is a good time for Kate Boy to be out: Anybody trawling the web for the sex of the royal heir with a simple "kate boy" Google search will be treated to a handful of results linking to the buzzed-about Swedish synth-pop group. It's a perfect case of accidental cross-promotion.
Considering the amount of shit that she talks, it's incredibly fitting that the artwork for Azealia Banks' new single "Yung Rapunxel" depicts the rapstress with three screaming mouths attached to her head. The 21-year-old is the 2013 version of Spencer Pratt: a professional famewhore of the highest-order who will sink to the lowest of lows for publicity, and then happily revel in the chaos of their own destruction. And just like Pratt, there's a bit of a self-knowing, sly wink to Banks' bad behavior -- without it, her trouble-making would be unbearable.
Justin Timberlake's long-awaited comeback track, "Suit & Tie", isn't an instant swooner like "Like I Love You", nor is it the musical right hook that "Sexyback" was. But it's still shocking in its own way, namely for not being what anyone expected the first new Justin Timberlake single in six years to sound like.