I’ve been in a catatonic state since my husband of almost five years, King Jjang Yunhoconda, announced that he was enlisting in the stupid army for his stupid mandatory military service.

I’ve spent the past few weeks writing abusive letters to the South Korean Ministry of National Defence begging them to make Yunho exempt on the basis that the entire hallyu wave will be deader than Sulli on stage without Oricon-dol Yunho, which will probably result in another war between Japan and Korea, but I have yet to receive a response.

On the bright side, Yunho oppa is releasing a solo album in early July as a personal farewell gift to me to his fans before his enlistment.

The 7-track Japanese mini-album, titled U Know Y (fucking iconic title!), contains two previously released songs, three songs from TVXQ’s tours, and two brand new unheard tracks.

The MV teaser for the lead single “Burning Down” dropped today, and it’s hot and steamy and funky and everything that you’d expect from a Yunho J-pop solo.

(To be fair Yunhoconda deserves a Japanese AND Korean solo album with large-scale promotions and budget so he can be cemented as the Michael Jackson of Asia, but this will have to do for now.)

Lord, just this teaser alone has my temperature rising and my clothes burning down. I’m suffering smoke inhalation and I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Yunho in a fireman’s outfit or I’ll be dead and he’ll be left a widower before even turning 30Sexy.