A few days ago I was sniffing around Danal Entertainment’s YouTube channel to see if the elegant Chaness had made a comeback, only to discover that they’ve been illegally trafficked over to China to perform in Taiwanese night clubs for mobsters and sleazy AV agents.

In their absence, Danal has now debuted a sexier, more plastic girl group to replace Chaness: Pocket Girls.

Pocket Girls is a 4-member group made up of Gangnam style racing models who were too beautiful and talented to slum it on the racing circuit, so now they’re taking the K-pop world by storm instead. (Watch your backs, Girl’s Day!!!)

Their faces are faker than BPPOP and their EDM debut single, “Bbang Bbang,” is just a crappier version of Badkiz’s timeless club tunes–so naturally, I’m their new No. 1 stan.

Plastic Gangnam didn’t even bother to learn their choreography properly before debuting, but it doesn’t matter because they’ve made up for it with the best dance move in the history of pop music. It takes place on the chorus, and involves Plastic Gangnam ripping open their blazers to reveal their perfect silicone bodies gyrating underneath.

Plastic Gangnam haven’t made it onto music programs yet, so the industrious divas have been performing for families at local car shows and for ravenous salivating crowds on the streets of Seoul.

Just look at the reaction they received for their most recent performance: Women had their jaws on the floor, grown men were screaming, and there was even an older woman of a particular age watching from the side who couldn’t take her eyes off of these youthful beauties.

I don’t envy EXID having to make their comeback at a time when “Bbang Bbang” fever is sweeping the nation! What ever will they do?