J.Y. Park Releases The Most Embarrassing Single Of The Year: 'Who's Your Mama?'
Somebody Employed JessiThe Production Isn't Horrible
Awful LyricsTerrible ChorusEmbarrassing MVMakes Me Feel Dirty And Violated
1.0Overall Score
Reader Rating 42 Votes

I consider myself a bit of a JYP stan because I love the agency’s current roster (GOT7, miss A, 2PM, etc) and their former superstars (Park Ji Yoon, Rain, Wonder Girls), and I also believe Mr. J.Y. Park himself to be one of K-pop’s greatest producers and superstars.

With that said, Park also happens to be a bit of an attention whore who refuses to give up his solo career despite being the CEO and primary music maker for JYP Entertainment.

This is fine when he’s putting out solid stuff like 2012’s Spring mini-album featuring Goddess Ga-In, but it’s a hot ass mess when it involves starring in shit movies like A Millionaire On The Run or releasing singles like his new abomination, the trashy “Who’s Your Mama?”

“Who’s Your Mama?” is Park’s attempt to jump on the big booty bandwagon that was popular in America LAST YEAR, so there’s a bunch of awful lyrics about thick girls with slim waists and fat backs and a chorus that just repeats the lame phrase “Shake that booty” over and over.

Since when the fuck have Asian women had trouble finding pants that fit because their booties are too big? A Korean woman would have to be as fat as Gabourey Sidibe or physically misshapen from some kind of birth defect caused by her mama drinking too much soju during pregnancy for that to happen.

By the way, if I was some Jezebel dyke I’d scream BODY SHAMING at the top of my lungs, but I’m not so I won’t.

I’m also no ageist (I’m appalled by how the media has been treating Madonna’s flaw-free Rebel Heart era!), but watching Park (who looks ten years older than the 43 listed on his Wikipedia page) slobber over young fitness models in the song’s shitty MV is just as gross as it is cheesy.

While watching it, all I could think of was that episode of Freaks and Geeks where Lindsay throws a house party and that crazy old dude gatecrashes it.

Go to the 26:30 mark to see what I’m talking about.

Also, how the hell are you gonna have an MV about hot bodies without trending fitness queen ~*~Yoo Seung Ok~*~? Even Niel got her in his video!

As much as I’ve ragged on this garbage, I must (unfortunately) give credit where credit is due. If you removed the music video and the lyrics, Park’s production isn’t that bad. (That’s as much praise as I can give it.)

There’s also a fun rap break from flavour-of-the-moment Jessi, which makes you think that it MIGHT be an OKAY song if J.Y. Park hadn’t ruined it with all the singing and the visuals.

Anyway, it’s pretty obvious that half the non-Koreans liking “Who’s Your Mama?” are either Unpretty Rapstar stans or JYP Entertainment stans. There’s no way that anybody without some kind of bias could legitimately like this song.

The fact that it’s No. 1 on all the digital charts right now instead of EXID or the newly-dethroned miss A is fucking sad.

On the bright side, at least JYP is finally #winning again. I just hope that next time it’s with 2PM, GOT7, or Sunmi instead of this shit.