tahiti phone number
For many K-pop fans, TAHITI is their flop girl group of choice. They have all the ingredients to become the perfect trashy bias –shamelessly plagiarized songs, constant lineup changes, an agency nobody’s ever heard of, and absolutely zero hits– but for some reason they’ve never quite clicked for me.

That is until now.

The group’s new single “Phone Number” is a late entry into the sexy concept trend, but a welcome one nonetheless. It’s about phone sex, and it sounds like it belongs in some late night 1-800-NAUGHTY advertisement from 20 years ago.

Give me, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE NUMBAH,” the girls moan while dialling their vaginas like old-school telephones. “CALL, CALL, CALL, CALL ME BAY-BEH.”

It was apparently produced by Brave Sound, which means that TAHITI couldn’t actually afford Brave Brothers himself so they had to go with one of the other producers at his agency–just like STELLAR did with Sweetune’s B-team. And just like STELLAR, it worked out perfectly. You still get the overall sound of the A-list hitmaker, without the lazy note-by-note cut-and-paste formula that someone like B.B. throws to all the less successful acts.

I thought that I’d be over the Brave-produced sexy concept formula in 2015, but “Phone Number” has convinced me otherwise. I do kinda wish that SISTAR19 or Ailee had released this at the top of last year instead (Hyo and Ailee would slay those diva vocals, and that pissweak rap has Bora’s name written all over it), but it suits TAHITI too.

“Phone Number” isn’t charting anywhere and K-pop fans are so over this shit by now that it’s not even going to get noticed enough to generate any controversy, so enjoy TAHITI’s latest failed comeback while you can. I wouldn’t be surprised if the group disbanded after this era wraps up (this feels like a last-ditch effort for relevance before folding for good), but at least they’ll get to go out on a high note with the best song, video, and choreography they’ve ever done.

TAHITI, we salute you.

[Notice at 1:50 the blonde member forgets the choreography? Dying.]

  • “[…] but at least they’ll get to go out on a high note with the best song, video, and choreography they’ve ever done.”
    *ehem*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYuUWBv69C8

    No, but seriously, still surprised that they are still alive.

    • ComingforyourRicecakes

      Give this to AS and bring them back to relevance

  • Nicole Naeun

    Pass.
    Wiggle Wiggle is still the best sexy song coming from nugu in 2015. *Wiggles ma booty in front of Jonghyun’s face*

  • byoing~byoing.

    ““Give me, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE NUMBAH,” the girls moan while dialling their vaginas like old-school telephones. “CALL, CALL, CALL, CALL ME BAY-BEH.”

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls0p0ooL0C1qjkmyu.gif
    This is the first time I bothered looking at Tahiti since their debut, but the only reason I bothered then was cause Aly&AJ’s ‘The Potential Break Up Song’ is my jam and they ripped that off, so hard.

    Anyway, this song – like you said, it’s pretty fantastic. I wouldn’t worry too much it’s flopping yet ’cause it’s kinda doing okay for a nugu group. 33 (was higher) on the Instiz chart’s atm (11:22AM Perth Time). It’s nearly topping one, so that’s pretty good I guess.

    http://puu.sh/eusgp/f3ee538184.png

  • 364Leinad

    The song from the teaser is so infinitely superior tho

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dFpJlIZMxk

    • Nicole Naeun

      Agreed. They were serving me AS’ Bang! and got me all anticipated. Sad that the final product is such a bore.

      • 364Leinad

        Also, the styling is a massive step backwards from Oppa You’re Mine when they were one of the highest quality girl group’s visually

    • diamonddog

      That’s the intro – “Tahiti”.

      They need Jungbin and Jin back… Jungbin was their redheaded main vocalist who is “on hiatus for health issues” and Jin is the maknae with blonde short hair – apparently she went on hiatus before “Love Sick” because it was “too mature” for her, then the CEO said she was attending school but would be back. That was TWO YEARS AGO.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNY1pbUiVAc

  • snailsong

    the choreo is everything tbh tho i’m kind of sad the outrage about slutty concepts has died down, it gave so much good promo! also ari looks and sounds amaaaazing :DDD

  • MIKEE

    Don’t you make fun of Jerry for forgetting the choreo! She is the saving grace of this group with her soulful Whitney-esque vocals and I will not stand for her good name being defiled by the likes of you!

    About the song…meh. They’re about a year and a half late with this track but its not terrible, definitely growing on me. They all look good. Minjae looks so over it tho, she clearly needs a nap and some dick.

    “Oppa, You’re Mine” is FAR superior and should have been #1 on the list of top girl group songs of 2014 but whatevs. http://youtu.be/SK3q9C4lAmg

  • This song is one that annoys you for the first minute and then you start liking it.
    Especially that they sing ‘give me phone number’ while they easily could have made it ‘give your phone number’ will probably make me think about it all week :(
    thanks!

  • James Smith III

    I wonder why they haven’t made a play for China or Japan

  • James Smith III

    Does anyone else ever wonder how these nugu groups keep going after so long?

    • Sponsors!

      • James Smith III

        I guess there is whole lotta truth to that movie “White”

    • Tahiti’s case is quite surprising becuase they had plenty of comebacks and are from a very small company. Probably their CEO behind some shady business to get some funding. I wouldn’t be surprised if they suddenly announce disbandment in a couple of months.

      • James Smith III

        I did a little research and discovered that there label has ties to Warner Bros Records, but I still don’t understand why they haven’t tried to expand to China or Japan

    • Mattey

      They pimp out Jisoo so much.

  • Lmao, just saw your note at then end. The choreo is so basic, but that blonde girl looks clueless. Imagine this girl doing one of Secret’s choreo.

  • Mattey

    I don’t think TAHITI will disband yet because they mange to pimp Jisoo out enough.