hello venus wiggle wiggle cover
I wanted to post Hallo Vagina‘s new strip club anthem “Wiggle Wiggle” the second they debuted it on Friday’s Music Bank, but I was waiting for the music video to drop first.

As it turns out, Hallo Penus are now so poor after the supreme floppage of “Sticky Sticky” that they can’t even afford an MV (I guess the soldiers they perform for aren’t big tippers), so all we get is a choreography practice video.

That’s okay, though, because the choreography is amazing–which is very important for a song about using your dance moves to pick up a guy at the club before taking him home to show him your moves in the bedroom.

Brave Brothers’ production on “Wiggle Wiggle” is surprisingly fresh, with the formulaic hitmaker ushering in the new year with a new sound.

It’s fairly low-key style by K-pop standards, with a foundation of rumbling hip-hop bass peppered with synth bubbles and HV’s seductive whisper-singing. The only major change of pace is the pre-chorus, which sees Brave pull the rug out from under the song with a drum break as new member Seoyoung wails for you to move your hips and shake dat ass.

This part has received some unfair criticism for being too jarring, but it’s an essential part of what makes “Wiggle Wiggle” so great. Seoyoung’s shriek is a battle cry to every bitch out there to get to #werq and go #ham, whether you’re dancing or fucking. It also stops the song from getting too monotonous; without her wailing, we’d all be stuck in a twerk-induced stupor for all eternity.

Besides not having a music video, Hello Venus did everything right with this comeback following the failure of “Sticky Sticky.” Brave’s new sound, a trendy concept, addictive choreography that tries to get in on the Hani “Up & Down” craze, Lime’s return to rap, Golden Proportions Nara front and center the entire time–everything hits the right spot.

Unfortunately, “Wiggle Wiggle” is completely flopping right now. Even if you don’t like the song, I feel like HV should be rewarded with a hit just for being so pretty and having such great bodies. This is K-pop after all. To the beautiful go the spoils! Or at least they should in Hello Venus’ case.