hilary duff all about you
Fresh from the constipated line dancing extravaganza that was her X Factor performance, living angel Hilary Duff has quickly followed up with the first acoustic performance of her top five Australian iTunes smash, “All About You.”

As a vocalist, Hilary Duff is about as good as Selena Gomez. The difference between the two is that Selena is usually too drugged up and full of Bieber jizz to let nerves get in the way of her singing, whereas the pure ‘n’ sober Miss McGuire always lets her terror of televised performances turn her vocals from so-so to no-no (oh snap).

With that said, I’d still take Duff’s dismal singing over Selena’s hoarse whispering or Ariana Grande’s Mariah Carey-oke any day of the week because it’s just so fucking relatable. Hilary is about as talented as you and me, but her success shows that with a little hard work and a good attitude that we too can find out what dreams are made of. If Hilary Duff’s performances were a magazine cover, it’d be a photo of her with bad cellulite under a screaming headline of “STARS — THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

Queen Hilary also performed “All About You” on a morning show the next day. She sounded a lot better (thank you backup singers!), but also looked just as terrified, if not more so. Her demeanor on stage is a mixture of awkward self-consciousness and pure fear, like a desperate kidnap victim pleading with her attacker to let her go and promising not to tell anybody what happened if he does.

With Hilary Duff in full promo mode and Britney Spears starting to resemble a normal non-medicated human being again, I feel like I don’t need any other pop stars in my life except these two.