1PS Because I'm Your Girl
I haven’t written about the angelic Springtime sprites of 1PS (1 Plastic Surgeon) yet, but I have discussed them on social media with my little K-pop Twitter clique. I’ve been obsessed with these surgically-enhanced beauties since they spent a whole month doing pre-debut media play about how beautiful and pretty they are, but when I humbly presented them to my Twitter peeps, I was mocked, laughed at, and verbally abused to the point of feeling like a Guantanamo Bay prisoner.

Uncle Fan, King Bea Arthur, Nicole Naeun, Suzy Sooyoung, Twerkdol and many more ridiculed me for calling these delicate and talented angels the new Nation’s girl group, but guess who’s having the last laugh? MEEEEE! I AMMM! Because as of today, 1 Plastic Surgeon is now 2014’s highest-charting rookie girl group!

1 Plastic Surgeon’s debut single “Because I’m Your Girl” just debuted at No. 29 on the official Gaon digital chart, easily destroying all other rookie girl group songs in its path. 1PisS outcharted the likes of Kiss&Cry, Bebop, and Lip Service, as well as some of last year’s notable rookies like BESTie and Wa$$up.

They even beat STELLAR!

The only group that’s done better is MAMAMOO, but they don’t count because A) I’m not even sure if they’re meant to qualify as an idol group or not and B) Their singles featured Bumkey and Wheesung, which gives them an unfair advantage.

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Now, do I think that 1 Plastic Surgeon’s agency used shady¬†sajaegi tactics to manipulate the charts so “Because I’m Your Girl” would become the new nation’s anthem? Of course I do. But it doesn’t count because we have no actual concrete proof, so 1 Plastic Surgeon simply slayed with their Whitney Houston-esque vocals and breathtaking visuals. It probably also helps that their single is a complete rip-off of A Pink’s legendary debut smash “I Don’t Know,” and that their concept is an A Pinkified version of those BESTie hookers.

1PS is the unnatural unnie version of A Pink and y’all will deal and bow down.

I actually still haven’t decided if I genuinely like these crooked queens or if it’s all just ironic joke stanning, but either way they just slayed your rookie faves so AHAHAHAHA and I stay predicting the star female rookies every year after my early Crayon Pop championing.

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