Rainbow Blaxx
Rainbow change their style and sound so much that most of their supporters are just fans of specific songs, rather than the group as a whole, but I’m not like that. Other than their garbage debut, “Gossip Girl,” I’m down for almost any music Rainbow has to offer. From their glory days with Sweetune to their dance phase with Daishi Dance and last year’s underrated Rainbow Syndrome, Rainbow’s always had great music — it’s the mismanagement from their label, not the music, that’s blocked them from hitting the big time.

Rainbow’s never going to do better than “Mach” and “A” –easily two of the best pop songs of the past five years– but it felt like the girls really hit their stride with last year’s “Tell Me Tell Me” and “Sunshine.” Most K-pop fans (including myself) dismissed the double comeback tracks at first and unfairly compared them to the group’s work with Sweetune, but both songs turned out to be huge growers and the rest of the tracks from Rainbow Syndrome put most girl group albums to shame. Not to mention that Rainbow’s revamped image, which mixed cheeky girl-next-door sexuality with sugary aegyo, was the first time that they’d actually found a concept that truly worked for them and stood out as their own.

But instead of building off the foundations they laid last year, Rainbow’s decided to cash-in on the current sexy concept craze by launching a 19+ rated subunit called Rainbow Blaxx.

Most of you will probably remember Rainbow’s last subunit, Rainbow Pixie, and how it was a horrible rip-off of After School’s Orange Caramel, right? Well, Rainbow Blaxx is basically the same thing, just with sleaze over saccharin.

The quartet –which for some reason contains two members that were already in Rainbow Pixie, while two remaining members of Rainbow still remain unused on the sidelines– has pulled out all the stops to try and get some attention in the music video for their single, “Cha Cha.” The whole thing is non-stop fetish gear, girl-on-girl action, cleavage, and Rihanna-esque crotch grinding. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there’s a fine line between being provocative and just plain desperate, and Rainbow Blaxx crossed it.

Yeah, AOA and Girl’s Day went pretty far with their recent comebacks, but there’s something about spreading your legs as wide as possible for three minutes and pulling focus to your vagina that just feels a little cheap to me. The whole thing is just, “HEY! LOOK AT MY SNATCH! LOOK AT IT! IT’S HERE! CAN YOU SEE IT?” It’s the kind of thing you expect from a trashy new rookie group that makes you stan for them half ironically, rather than an established act like Rainbow who are way above this.

Go back and look at “Mach” again: That song is a work of genius, comparing the Mach number to experiencing an orgasm in the throes of passion, all over pulsating production that sounds simultaneously ’80s and like some futuristic space beat you’ve never heard before in your life.

It doesn’t help that “Cha Cha” sounds like a Nine Muses b-side. Seriously, I’m surprised that it wasn’t plucked straight off of Prima Donna. I don’t know what the song is actually about, but after seeing the video, reading the translated lyrics, and knowing that “Cha Cha” is generally used as slang for pussy, I’m thinking it’s about fucking another woman.

Jaekyung 02Jaekyung 01

Rather than dropping this porno unit that’s already lagging behind Girl’s Day and AOA (both in quality and commercially), DSP Media should’ve either done a full Rainbow comeback or debuted Jaekyung as a soloist. Jaekyung is one of the hottest women in K-pop, and female soloists are back in fashion — especially sexy ones. Jaekyung should’ve been pushed as the next HyunA/Ga-In since “A” dropped. Women like her don’t just grow on fucking trees.

Anyway, here’s “Cha Cha” for y’all. Now excuse me while I got off and listen to AOA’s “Miniskirt” for the millionth time.