SECRET Plastic Surgery
SECRET, who most of you will know as one of the top five best girl groups in K-pop, are back with a new single called “I Do I Do.” They’ve also got some fabulous new faces to go along with it.

Sunhwa and Hana’s fresh looks seem to be the work of the surgeon’s scalpel, while Ji Eun and the world’s most beautiful/cute/sexy woman Hyosung probably just dieted like crazy to achieve their perfect V-line jaws. All of Ji Eun’s weight goes straight to her face, so I’m guessing she hasn’t eaten for a couple of weeks, while Goddess Hyosung has already previously admitted that she only eats one meal a day.

Sunhwa’s always sucking and tucking something on her mug, and she gets hotter every time she does it — Soyeon style. Hana, on the other hand, peaked physically with her plastic face around the “Poison” and “Talk That” eras, but now looks one more nose job and jaw-shaving away from becoming the next LaToya Jackson. Ilbe really needs to stop funding Hana’s facial reconstructions through kickstarter campaigns!

Plastic surgery aside, “I Do I Do” is giving me life. It’s basically just the Christmas-y wedding version of “Starlight Moonlight” or “YooHoo,” which makes it great. I know a lot of international fans prefer Sexy SECRET to Saccharine SECRET, but I love both equally and am always blown away by whatever the group puts out.

The music video is one of those iconic one-take jobs. It looks a bit LOEN-esque with the styling and totally murders EXO’s overrated “Growl” MV. The absurd choreography has SECRET flapping their arms like birds and then having some kind of seizure, which is also superior to whatever EXO did in “Growl”.

“I Do I Do” isn’t doing the best on the real-time charts right now, but after seeing how badly T-ara’s been flopping with the pop perfection that is “What Should I Do?,” I’m just glad to see SECRET ranking in Melon’s top fifty. Hopefully “I Do I Do” will end up having a tonne of longevity like “YooHoo” did. If not, then I guess it means that Korea still hasn’t gotten over that one time Hyosung accidentally misused the word “democratization” during an interview, which therefore means that all Korean netizens are retards.

R.I.P FAT SECRET

  • KingBeaArthur

    Zinger was such a mess during the “Love is Move” era. I lost it @ R.I.P FAT SECRET!!!

    I absolutely adore “I Do I Do”! They all look beautiful (even Burger) and the song is so sweet & catchy. Hyosung giving me grown & sexy aegyo… *_*

    • byoing~byoing.

      She can insist on us calling her ‘Hana’ but she’s always gonna be Zinger to me. Her nasal raps always give me so much life.

  • dnxo14

    t-ara recently left loen ent’s wings so i assume that can be a factor why they’re flopping so hard .. *politics*

    anyway, this new secret song is better than YooHoo .. and i’m happy with that . .but im still waiting for a song that is as great sa Madonna or Shy Boy .. xC

    • Ozzy Borges

      Or Magic or Love is Move

  • Aviator

    I miss Zinger’s old look… (And she will always be Zinger to me.) But “I Do I Do” is just the right mixture between cheesy and aegyo, so I can’t be mad at it for following in the steps of “YooHoo”, especially with that light Christmas theme.

    And you know what else I miss? The delicious, hottest mess that was “Madonna”. How are you gonna take those hot bodies and let this happen? I am baffled.

  • What an unhealthy lifestyle choice to bring to young girls, its truly sad!

    • BadB*tch

      Ya, thank god they lost the lost weight.

  • Bobby

    HIIII HATERSSSS!!!! Flop what?

  • Saboya Gregory

    Please help me cope with life & post a scathing post covering beyonce new album. I’m begging you

    • Bobby

      What’s to scary?! The fact that she slayed everyone else. My sales predictions were laughed at and she exceeded them HAA beyonce snatched EVERYONE’S wig

      • Saboya Gregory

        what’s to illiterate?

        Of course it would be the Beyonce stan…

  • The_odds_are_inevitable

    This article is bullshit. They work hard everyday so obviously they’ll loose a couple pounds unknowingly. They have long schedules so maybe they’ll miss a meal or two. But when they aren’t worrying about work obviously they’ll take care of they’re figure. They eat healthy and work out but they definitely don’t starve themselves or get extra help such as platic surgery.

  • Askywalker

    what the hell, they were never fat -.-” i think they were perfect before – very curvy and sexy, i feel like they’re way too thin now. it’s really unhealthy and unappealing…

  • Ozzy Borges

    These girls looked amazing in the “Love is Move” era, wtf are people thinking calling them fat -_- which is what probably led Zinger to change looks, or rather Hana as she now changed to b/c probably the same reasons as her looks….FAT give me a break rofl……

  • Rachel McGee

    Secret were never fat. Also, eating one meal a day is really unhealthy, as is going weeks without eating (even though you probably said that comment in jest). Secret have always been beautiful and should not feel they have to barely eat anything in order to be considered beautiful.