Arcadey Now 2
So, I met Crayon Pop TWICE last week, and it was the greatest fucking thing ever. Anything else that I experience from this point forward will just be a total bore now that I’ve been blessed by the Popes of Pop. The only thing keeping me alive is the possibility that I may one day bask in their ethereal glow once again.

I actually didn’t find out about The Divine Five’s trip Down Under until fairly late, so I didn’t really have a chance to go out and buy a whole Crayon Pop ensemble and stalk them all across Sydney like I would’ve done if I’d had more time to prepare. While I’m grateful that I was able to breathe the same air as the Holy Queens of the Universe, I’ll always regret not camping out the front of their hotel and following them across the city like the T-1000 after John Connor.

By the way, can all white people besides myself all please go to hell and never return? At the second Crayon Pop fansign I attended, I somehow ended up next to the ONLY other white people there; it was some white trash overweight family, and they were so rude and kept complaining the whole time and throwing shade as I did the “Bar Bar Bar” fanchants along with everyone else there (“Gummi! Ellin!”). Hello, why are you flops at a K-pop event if you’re going to give people the side-eye for screaming and shouting? At one point the father of this wretched trio tried to put his fatass daughter on his shoulders so she could see above the crowd of Crayon stans, but he nearly toppled over because she was so heavy. Like, really? Your daughter is a two tonne tessie and you actually expect to carry her immense weight on your feeble shoulders? I just know that this guy was at the mall to browse the bargain bins and happened to stumble upon Crayon Pop’s performance by chance on his way to McDonalds to feed his obese daughter more junk that’s eventually going to send her to an early grave.

Anyway, I met Crayon Pop, Way and Ellin told me they loved me (I said it first, but whatever), Gummi said something about my outfit that I couldn’t understand, and I got three signed Crayon Pop albums, so yay for me.

As for music this past week, besides the almighty Crayon Pop, I’ve been listening to a bunch of new releases. I’ve actually been more in the mood to listen to older stuff, but made an effort to check out some new music because I know that if I don’t now I’ll just get snowed under as the holiday album rush continues. I’m already looking forward to things slowing down so I can start digging into some classics and play Crayon Pop on repeat again.

Lady Gaga – ARTPOP

So most of you know that ARTPOP has been one of my most-anticipated pop albums ever since “Applause” dropped. I’m loving it so far, but not quite in the way I was expecting to. It’s more shallow than I thought it would be, and it’s almost as overproduced as a Britney Spears album. I just wanna grab Gaga, slap her in the nose, and then make her re-record half the tracks in her bedroom with a mic and a laptop. ARTPOP would really benefit from a little grit and grunt.

Other than that, the whole thing’s pretty great. It’s definitely up there with The Fame Monster as Gaga’s best release. The only no-no is the overwrought “Dope” — that shit is unlistenable. “Jewels & Drugs” is also embarrassingly bad, but it works because it’s such a try hard exercise in ratchetry that you have to love it. As for my favourite track, I don’t know if I can even choose one — they’re all so damn addictive. Maybe “Mary Jane Holland,” Manicure,” or “Fashion.” I just wish “Swine” was as vicious as the live version was. But my only real concern with this album is that it’s so poppy and overproduced that it might not have a lot of re-playability. I’m not 100% confident that I’ll still be listening to it in a couple of months time, but we’ll see. As for now, it kicks ass, and don’t let the gross Prism stans tell you otherwise.

Best Coast – Fade Away

Every Best Coast album sounds virtually the same to me, and when I actually pay proper attention to their lyrics I find that they can sometimes be trite and contrived. Regardless, I still find myself obsessed with everything this band releases. If I’m feeling melancholy, I’ll play Best Coast. If the weather’s nice and sunny, I’ll play Best Coast. If I want some cool background music while I clean my room or aimlessly surf the net, I’ll play Best Coast. Considering that I love lo-fi, pop, and surf music, I guess it’s just a given that I’d love them.

Fade Away is much darker than their past releases which I appreciate, and it’s definitely a lot stronger than last year’s The Only Place. Plus, they mixed in some grunge this time, which is always a good thing. This one’s definitely going to be on heavy rotation for a while.

MGMT – MGMT

If you thought that Congratulations was as far as MGMT would go to rebel against the mainstream success of Oracular Spectacular, then you were realllllly wrong. Their new self-titled album sounds like aliens abducted Congratulations, probed it, fed it a tab of intergalactic acid, and dropped it off in the middle of Woodstock. That’s a compliment, by the way. (Not that anyone should take popping acid and being anally probed as anything other than a positive and pleasurable experience, but just thought I’d clarify.)

MGMT is a wonderfully weird experience from start to finish that demands multiple listens to truly understand, but true understanding isn’t required to enjoy it. The psychedelic production is so immediately engaging that playing MGMT in the background while you smoke a blunt or chill out is almost as rewarding as sitting down with the record and going through the sounds and lyrics with a fine-toothed comb.

Also, “Mystery Disease” >>>>> all other music ever invented (minus Crayon Pop, which is clearly superior to everything).

miss A – Come On Over

I pretty much said all the important critical stuff about miss A’s “Hush” over on Popdust so I won’t go over it again here. What I will say now is that when I heard “Hush” and saw the music video for the first time, I seriously said to myself, “Who the fuck would waste their time on Fifth Harmony and The Saturdays when you could be getting down to this instead?” It’s not even my favourite miss A single (that would be the legendary “Good-bye Baby”), but the sparse production is so fresh and I’m totally in love with the visuals and choreography.

Anyway, as much as I’m enjoying “Hush,” the song that’s really blown me away from miss A’s new album is “Come On Over.” It’s fucking paradise and the only other song on the album besides the title track that’s worth listening to. The electronic R&B jam is the sexiest thing I’ve heard since *tries to think of a sexy song* Brown Eyed Girls’ “Recipe.” Just like “Help Me” and “Lips,” it seems that so much of miss A’s best material never reaches official single status. They need to start doing double A-side comebacks in the future!

 Sky Ferreira – Night Time, My Time

I don’t want to say that I’m pleasantly surprised by Sky Ferreira’s long-awaited full-length debut because that implies that I wasn’t expecting great things from it. I always knew this record would be an instant favourite, but I wasn’t expecting Sky to make such a drastic departure from the airy pop of last year’s mindblowingly good “Everything Is Embarrassing.” Night Time, My Time, is low-fi and abrasive, as if the tracks were intentionally left in demo form. There’s a wide range of obvious musical influences from the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, from The Cure and Blondie all the way to Siouxsie Sioux and Hole — think Pretty On The Inside and Live Through This, but with the pop leanings of Celebrity Skin. It also sounds like an old John Hughes soundtrack dipped in grunge. Yes, I know I just listed a lot of stuff, but it seriously sounds like a bunch of different things — all of them good.

After multiple listens, I now fully understand why Sky went for the “rape shower” album cover. Night Time, My Time a raw and visceral record that’s not afraid to dig deep and look at the ugly stuff. It was definitely worth the three year wait, and asserts Sky as much more than a trendy blog staple. Regardless of whether or not she ever has commercial success, there’s no doubt in my mind that Sky Ferreira’s a real artist that’s going to be worthy of our attention for years to come.

  • Kaori Lee

    Whats with the fifth harmony shade?
    You stan for bitches who walk around wearing helmets that look like physically mentally ill patients. Gurl I cant with you!

  • ICONI3

    I can’t at you reading that family their rights. I like Artpop..I will say I agree that I haven’t been whoring it out like I thought I would, but it’s a great album and I love the way she’s able to bring life to the songs(I watched artrave).

    Miss A’s album is a fucking dud to me,but I love Hush. I understand that many sexed crazed fans wanted a fiercer track to bop their penginses too, but it works for me and I love the looks this era for them.

  • Quang Phạm

    ARTPOP is a good pop album and I love it. The Fame and The Fame Monster are still superior to this though.

    • LizzyG

      I like about 2 songs on the album so far, maybe it’s a grower. But I agree, The Fame and The Fame Monster are certainly superior to anything she’s done so far. For me the only 2 songs that come close are Applaud and Do What U Want. I probably sound like a typical top 40 fan for saying that but I love Do What U Want and I think she should go back to that type of style and Fame/Fame Monster pop. I think she should leave the “art” to Koons and crank out hits instead.

  • Dub

    I can’t believe you got to meet Goddess Ellin and the rest of Crayon Pop!

  • Very accurate review on ArtPop! Glad you got to meet Crayon Pop.

  • Internet Deviant

    All of Artpop is good save for three throwaway tracks. Dope is a reworked version of I Wanna Be With You from the iTunes Festival. It should never have been altered. The original was vastly superior and easily her most earnest song lyrically. The reworking deliberately took away the original intent of the song for God knows what reason.

  • gotgotgone

    ARTPOP is definitely an album that grows. Some of that tracks sound try hard like Dontella but eventually everything starts to click and I start singing and looking like a fool. As for Best Coast I have a love hate relationship I have to be in the mood and I can never sit through a whole album.

  • Brandon Baker

    Oh gosh, “two tonne tessie.” You’re breathing life into me right now.

    Also: So happy to see that someone else loves “Mary Jane Holland.” Most of the stans on the message boards find it to be a throwaway. Me? I sing it in the shower every morning.

  • Johnta Oneil

    Artpop is awful, I like 2 songs the rest are subpar. I’m so disappointed with sky’s album as well, all the songs sound the same, I’m all for consistency but really not feeling it as much as her previous work.

  • Andrew Rod

    Artpop is ok, not much my cup of tea as Prism or Bangerz (yeah, Prism, kill me I’m a 10 year old sometimes, but don’t worry I don’t go as far as love Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato last records) and MGMT and Sky Ferreira album are killers, I love more Sky than MGMT, even I can admit MGMT album is totally amazing, I think I only got 4 songs (including “Mistery Disease” don’t worry) on it and Sky seriously I didn’t expect less, a lot of people whine and complain about she changed too much and that they miss the pop “gems” of her 3 singles and “As If!” EP, but this change Ghost-Night Time, My Time I think it’s better for her more real and very fitting.
    PD: thank you for keep updating with this lists last week and this one, I really like you sharing with us some of your other taste musically and not only Pop, R&B and K/J-Pop.

  • Blackbeat

    It took me a few more listens to warm up to ARTPOP. It’s just giving me that robotic vibe because of all the synth and EDM she loaded into the tracklist. My favorites apart from the singles are Gypsy and Fashion!. Not really digging the rest.

  • i’m in absolute love with sky’s and miss a’s albums! although i don’t think the latter is as great as their first LP, or any of their gorgeous eps, but it’s still fun to run the treadmill to it; as for sky’s it’s simply gorgeous and i felt exactly what you said.

    i still don’t like artpoop. i like “applause” more now and “do what u want” is too gorgeous to ignore. i like “aura” too, but ugh the rest of the album is such a big ramble!

    gaga still got to learn how to edit herself. firstly she wanted to release a movie with every MV [which was totally irrelevant most of the times – ale ale alejandro!], now every single song has to sound like an anthem to something…bitch please, stop trying to be an artistic role model! you’re not! you’re still just a lil’ girl playing with mama’s and papa’s clothes!

    finally, i personally think best coast is a big fat bore, but i loved the mgmt song u recomended and am definitelly downloading the album!

  • All anyone ever needs is one Best Coast album, because they are all exactly the same. Even the melodies feel recycled and I can’t tell one cover from the other — also, I totally agree about ARTPOP. It is viscously over-produced and lacking in subtle moments. If she were going for a start to finish club-ready disc, she should have studied CONFESSIONS ON THE DANCE FLOOR a little harder. If I were working out to ARTPOP, I would have a heart attack by track 6.

  • FreakyFlyBri

    I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised by what I do like from ARTPOP right now…I agree that the studio version of Swine should have been as hard-edged as its live counterpart, but I still enjoy it. ARTPOP, Sexxx Dreams, Do What You Want, G.U.Y., and Mary Jane Holland all remain straight bops, though. Funnily enough, I didn’t enjoy as many songs from ARTPOP as I did Born This Way, but I’ve actually grown to like Gags a lot more as a person since her SNL appearance. The Old Lady Gaga kind of broke my heart because to some extent I kind of felt that that was what she was worried would happen to her. I know it’s stupid, but it made me realize that even with all the crazy tomfoolery and hijinks she’s still a human being and she just wants people to love her and remember her. So, I’m not a stan, but I am officially calling myself a fan now. All right, I’m done haha.