Lady Gaga Do What U Want
Fresh from her latest calculated Twitter meltdown to #promote ARTPOP, Lady Gagaartiste, walking Warholian experience, and human Kunst– has released an R&B song with R. Kelly called “Do What U Want.” But just so you know, she isn’t bandwagoning or anything like that. Just because everyone else is reviving the ’90s and doing R&B right now, doesn’t mean that’s what Gaga’s doing. She doesn’t write music for the charts,” okay?

Now that my required Gaga shade is out of the way, let me start stanning for this epic urban #banger.

Despite going all HOODPOP on us with “Do What U Want,” Mother Monster still caters to her loyal queens by sticking an italo-disco beat underneath the whole song. She gives her best Christina Aguilera circa “Your Body” impression over the top, wailing about how we can’t have her heart or mind, but we can do what we want to her body. (Do I sense a double meaning in the lyrics related to fame and the media and Marina Abramovic having anal sex with Jeff Koons?)

Your Body Gif

The ATRL twinks are gonna have a field day with this, gyrating for their lives and playing it in the background as they suck a few disco sticks, but “Do What U Want” ultimately transcends simple SEXPOP. It sounds like a camp diva anthem disguised as an R&B fuck jam — it’s like the musical love child of Diana Ross’ wig and Samantha Fox’s entire career. The fact that water sports enthusiast R. Kelly features only makes it even gayer in my eyes.

Tl;dr: Lady Gaguilera remains a perfect mess and ARTPOP is still on track to become pop album of the year.

Farrah Abraham Gif