Katy Perry Dark Horse
No, Katy Perry, nooooooo. NoooooOooooooOOOOOooooooooooo.

Katy performed her abysmal trap hit, “Dark Horse,” at the iHeartRadio festival this weekend. She was dressed like some Shirley Manson-meets-The Craft on Halloween type shit, and she was up on stage doing a “Laffy Taffy” Dem Franchize Boyz Yung Joc snap dance.

Not the snap dance, Katy…

Facepalm gif

And then she followed Juicy J down the runway and was doing, like, a “swag walk” or some shit.

Not the swag walk…

Simon Cowell Gif

She also bent over like she was gonna twerk, but didn’t, and instead made this wavy roller coaster move with her hand.

Now that, whatever that was…

Louie Gif

Prism-era Katy Perry really is the worst thing ever. She’s about as cool as Amy Poehler in Mean Girls. She makes me embarrassed to be white. She makes Miley Cyrus look like Martin Luther King Jr. She’s the sole reason why white men can’t jump. Or dance.

Not Katy Perry having two songs in the top five of iTunes as I write this… Nooooooo!