Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey have a lot more in common than you might think. First of all, they both share the same initials. Secondly, they’ve both mastered the ability to turn any music video into a soft core porno — especially when its a ballad. The only real difference is that Mimi’s blue movies look like vintage ’80s throwbacks filled with high-waisted thongs, teased wigs with too much hairspray, and cheesy saxophone music, while Miley’s are contemporary hipster porn for art students and potheads.
In the stunning visual for her latest single, “Wrecking Ball,” Milegend takes off her clothes and rides a –wait for it– WRECKING BALL, licks and strokes a hammer like she’s a teenage Beyonce feasting on Matthew Knowles’ cock, and at one point, wears a flimsy pair of white panties that appear to be stained by muddy douche water.
The talented Two and a Half Men guest star also serves Sinead O’Connor “Nothing Compares 2U” realness with some heart-wrenching “look at the camera while singing and crying” close-ups. At this rate, she’ll be ripping up pictures of the Pope on national TV in no time!
What I’m really trying to say is that Milegend is the Mariah/Sinead/Madonna/Rick James of our generation, and anybody who denies that just can’t handle her edginess and should be sentenced to the chair (or the wrecking ball).