Katy Perry Dark Horse Juicy J
I’m sorry. I swear I’m not just being a fickle jerk and needlessly hating on Katy Perry for no reason this era, even though it probably looks like I am. I honestly like her and most of her songs. I really do!

But, this “Dark Horse” song with Juicy J…

Tiffany Facepalm GIF

It’s giving me “E.T.” vibes, which is a good thing. Except that when “E.T.” first leaked months before Teenage Dream dropped, it sounded fresh and exciting. Listening to Katy Perry –the whitest white woman in pop music– suddenly singing over hip-hop and trap beats now that urban music’s mainstream again is so funny that I don’t know whether to LOL, or just LMFAO.

Bandwagoning is a normal part of pop music and nothing to get riled up about, but there’s gotta be some limits. Miley gets a pass because she bothered to reinvent herself into a ratchet trick who’ll jump on any big black dick placed in front of her pretty little face. Gaga’s also trend-hopping with her Too $hort collabo, “Jewels and Drugs,” but at least she’s showing some originality and creativity with the other songs and concepts from ARTPOP instead of just going 100% by the book.

Then you’ve got Katy Perry, who just topped the charts with “Roar” –easily the most sterile song of the year– and now she’s gone and dropped this Miracle Whip hip-hop track with Juicy J.

There’s safe, and then there’s Katy Perry. I mean, what happened to all those wig burning teasers and shit? So far this Prism era is so uninteresting and inoffensive that it’s making Teenage Dream look like American Life. 

I do like the song, though. Get those KIIS FM spins, girl!