Katy Perry Dark Horse Juicy J
I’m sorry. I swear I’m not just being a fickle jerk and needlessly hating on Katy Perry for no reason this era, even though it probably looks like I am. I honestly like her and most of her songs. I really do!

But, this “Dark Horse” song with Juicy J…

Tiffany Facepalm GIF

It’s giving me “E.T.” vibes, which is a good thing. Except that when “E.T.” first leaked months before Teenage Dream dropped, it sounded fresh and exciting. Listening to Katy Perry –the whitest white woman in pop music– suddenly singing over hip-hop and trap beats now that urban music’s mainstream again is so funny that I don’t know whether to LOL, or just LMFAO.

Bandwagoning is a normal part of pop music and nothing to get riled up about, but there’s gotta be some limits. Miley gets a pass because she bothered to reinvent herself into a ratchet trick who’ll jump on any big black dick placed in front of her pretty little face. Gaga’s also trend-hopping with her Too $hort collabo, “Jewels and Drugs,” but at least she’s showing some originality and creativity with the other songs and concepts from ARTPOP instead of just going 100% by the book.

Then you’ve got Katy Perry, who just topped the charts with “Roar” –easily the most sterile song of the year– and now she’s gone and dropped this Miracle Whip hip-hop track with Juicy J.

There’s safe, and then there’s Katy Perry. I mean, what happened to all those wig burning teasers and shit? So far this Prism era is so uninteresting and inoffensive that it’s making Teenage Dream look like American Life. 

I do like the song, though. Get those KIIS FM spins, girl!

  • Lin Misfits

    It’d slay if CL sang this song.

  • UncleFan

    I like it better than Roar. That’s all I’ve got.

    • I like anything better than “Roar.”

      “Roar” would’ve been more acceptable if it was the Teenage Dream repackage single. But it seems odd to start off a whole new album era with literally the exact same song/concept as your last one. “Roar” is literally “California Gurls,” but with cartoon jungle concept instead of cartoon candyland concept, and ripping off Sara Bareilles instead of Ke$ha.

      It’s also harder to swallow with the endless pre-comeback promo Katy did promoting the Prism era as different to Teenage Dream.

      Out of all the pop diva comebacks, Katy is coming dead last for me, which is sad because initially she was the one I was looking forward to the most.

      • UncleFan

        You know what I think? I think the pressure of following up Teenage Dream scared Katy into risking nothing on these songs, and I bet every song on the new album is going to be weak.

        • I 1000% agree. Plus, one of my friends who went to the listening party said if you like “Roar” you’ll like the whole album since it’s basically that kind of thing.

          Can’t believe we’re heading into an era where Gaga and Avril are gonna drop way better pop records than Katy and Britney haha.

          • FreakyFlyBri

            “Can’t believe we’re heading into an era where Gaga and Avril are gonna drop way better pop records than Katy and Britney haha.”

            I can’t speak for Katy, who has always been kind of hit-and-miss for me when it came to her musical output, but as for Britney…who read your palm and told you lies? Raven Symone?

  • KingBeaArthur

    I’m torn with this. The lyrics aren’t bad, and the beat hits but coming from Katy…I’m not buying it. I guess I’d rather be mildly entertained vs. completely in a ‘WTF’ state for 4+ minutes {Miley on “23” – that girl…can’t help but <3}.

    Juicy J's parts were garbage imo. I need a version without him on it.

    • UncleFan

      Agreed. I’m sick and tired of all these pointless collabos. I never let the Kanye version of E.T. defile my ears.

  • twerkdol

    Meh…I’m bored

  • Nicole Naeun

    Miley would’ve slayed this and made it her next #1 tbh.

    • MIKEE

      Nicole you would’ve slayed this song with a feature from Tiffany Taeyeon, imo.

      • I read somewhere that Tiffany Taeyeon is now called Tiffany16 and is preparing to come back with a new sound that’s never been done before, so I’m sure she’d never record something generic like this. Tiffany is always very cutting edge but I read that her new single will be her most iconic yet.

        • MIKEE

          Oh you mean Tiffany56? All the drugs and alcohol she’s been consuming, she doesn’t look close to 16. She’s always been kind of a trend hopper to me so we’ll see. What’s this new “innovative” sound she’s going to produce?

          • Actually Suzy Sooyoung is the druggie. And from what I read, Tiffany16’s name doesn’t mean age — it’s much deeper than that. But you wouldn’t understand because you only listen to generic artists like @nicolenaeun:disqus who constantly bite Tiffany’s style.

            Please anticipate Tiffany16’s new single “LADIES,” which drops later this month. It contains a new sound and concept that’s never been done before.

          • MIKEE

            I’m sorry I forgot, Tiffany83 is the whore. “Unwillingly” in that sex slave contract at SLAVEX. We all know she can’t get enough of her CEO’s eggroll on top of the prostitute money he gives her.

            Even if Nicole Naeun isn’t original, at least she does it with some grace and class. Tiffany94 could take a couple of lessons.

            I’ll anticipate her alright, can’t wait for the trainwreck to begin!

          • Nicole Naeun

            Who is this Tiffany69? Is she a new porn star? Sorry but I only watch Jenna Jameson and Maria Ozawa.

          • MIKEE

            Yes. She’s not as classy as Jenna Jameson though, more like a Kim Kardashian.

      • Nicole Naeun

        Thank you, you’re such a loyal Popper. I’ll send you a signed copy of Studio 54.

        • MIKEE

  • Riley Biers

    she’s so white i can’t do this

  • Lili

    Does anyone else feel it would of slayed if Sky Ferreira sang it with some 80’s synths?…

    • BLaine Kelley

      no one else feels ANYTHING for Flop Floperia

  • MIKEE

    The mediocrity is killing me. Definitely E.T part two except bad, I mean did she really think Juicy J was gonna add some “street cred” to the song? At least the rappers Gaga added to Jewels and Drugs are good!

    My friends are stanning for EVERYTHING this bitch sharts out and honestly it’s making me question my friendships. Fuck you Katy Perry!! You life ruiner!!!!

    • Fawoo

      Steebie wouldn’t even give Joseline “Dark Horse”. LOL

      Prays to the pop heavens that Rihanna raises from the dead and releases 10 singles in one week to make up for how lame 2013 has been.

      • MIKEE

        Lmfao! Katy would die, be born again, die again, and be born again before Joseline would do a song wit dis bitch!

        This is year of disappointments and over hype. I don’t think Rih is coming back but at least we’re getting vids for Pour It Up and What Now! That will tide this stan over until her next album. She’s been entertaining me enough though, violating people with her #cockclutch.

  • T.

    omg! such a improvement from Roar!! it’s still generic, but I think this whole era will be. i’m just hoping for a good — not even a great, as I learn not to push it when it comes to KT — video that could make me forget what a big bag of shit Roar (song + video + performance) was.

  • lilicorp

    I think Katy tried to do a Charli XCX goth-hip hop vibe (she swagger jacked her entire look tbh) and this song proves it, it sounds eerily close to charli’s “moments in love” song from the “Super Ultra” mixtape. This is boring. At least with “E.T” it sounded urgent this just sounds like the sonic equivalent of “you tried.”

  • Steveronii

    I thought the song was gonna be much more exciting. From the chorus teaser, it seemed like it was gonna be super anthemic and charged.

    But this just seems like it’s dragging along. I love Katy Perry, but this…
    I’ll probably love it after it ends up playing everywhere…

  • #tag

    If it ain’t broke…. she has her chart typing formulae and she’s sticking to it!

  • Josh Chinnery

    Please tell me this is a sick joke being played on all of us plebeians

  • Alex

    People hate on Miley, but she’s actually done well for herself. She’s topping the charts while being incredibly divisive, weird, transgressive and also quite amazing. Katy Perry and Beyonce are basically forced to be likeable and not very interesting. Both of them wish they were creepily licking a hammer in a Terry Richardson video. I am really enjoying the emergence of the age of the hot mess.

    Overall I’m not very impressed by a lot of these singles.The first 40 seconds of Work Bitch are pop brilliance, but the rest of the song just doesn’t hold up. Applause is quite good, Roar is insipid and awful.

  • oneclearnight

    I fell asleep while listening to this. Just as bad as Roar, imo.

  • Akie_Of_Winterfell

    So Juicy J is a real person? I thought that was a name they created to diss Jessie J.

    *DEAD*

  • LizzyG

    I really don’t like Katy but I actually do like this song. I’ve been in miss with urban pop since, idk when did it start leaving, 2005 and by 2008 it was unheard of? (I mean I liked the urban dance thing for a little while but..) Anyway, I do think this song was a a bandwagon thing.. I think Katy has been missing her mark ever since she released her second single. Her “I Kissed a Girl” sound, which was like rock pop, she should have stuck with that, it suited her.

    Now if someone could get the message to Britney that urban pop suited her since day 1 (ie Baby One more Time) that would be good. And as you said urban is back in and Britney is usually on top of what’s new, so what’s with this garbage single she released??

  • Auntie

    And Katy gets a pass from the ~~cultural appropriation social justice warriors~~ while Miley continues to get shit on.

    Just trash.

  • Andrew Rod

    First we got Sara rip-off of her rip-off of a fun. song, and now we got a combination of Charlie XCX and a little bit of “Niggas In Paris”? (which by the way she did a cover last year, I think) and I’m digging it, damn you Perry.

  • Burk Kyler

    I’m questioning Katy Perry as an artist.

    Roar is a step backwards and everyone know she played it extremely safe. This should have just been an album filler piano ballad. There seems to be no thought behind her music, it just lets try whatever… know wonder she don’t sell much albums

  • Fajar Zakhri

    I honestly thought you would give this a glowing review, Jacques! lol