T-ara 2013 Comeback
After an entire year of total bullshit, it looks like things are finally back on the upswing for T-ara. They’re currently performing to sold-out crowds on their Japanese Treasure Box tour, they’ve stopped playing musical chairs with their members, Dani is out of the way and promoting with F-ve Dolls, Hyomin’s starring in a big Japanese movie, they just got their first post-scandal endorsement deal (some clothing brand in Japan), and best of all, THEY’RE MAKING A K-POP COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!

To say I’m totally spiralling out of control from excitement is an understatement. The new music will be Slay-ara’s first K-pop release as a full group since the elegant “Sexy Love” dropped last September at the height of Hwayoung-gate.

According to Core Contents Media, T-ara will release concept photos and a three-minute teaser video that was filmed in the desert on September 25th. They’ll then release a new mini-album comprised of about 5 or 6 new songs on October 10th.

“After a long time being away, T-ara are pouring a lot of effort into their Korean comeback. We ask for a lot of interest into the song which is traditional T-ara, but better.” CCM stated the new song will be a traditional T-ara song, but only more addictive and with a more focus on the music. (Via Tiara Diadem)

They’ve also got a new Japanese single dropping in November and a possible new T-ara N4 album for America in December, but all that’s irrelevant compared to the K-pop comeback news.

I’ve made a few predictions about what’s going to happen when the Super Six make their triumphant return to the country that shunned them, so here they are.

Netizen Suicide Rates Skyrocket

Suicide Gif

Realizing what a grave mistake they made by destroying the lives of six innocent girls (seven if you include Ahreum) based off lies and gossip, netizens will take to the streets and commit mass suicide. South Koreans everywhere will rejoice and officially mark October 10 as “Kill Yourself If You Don’t Stan For T-ara” day.

Eunjung Comes Out The Closet

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Overcome with emotion by the amount of love and support T-ara’s comeback has received, Eunjung finally admits what we’ve all known for years: She’s a lesbian who’s been doing it bunny style with the ladies for years. The masculine pop diva suddenly finds herself as the unofficial face of the LGBT community across Asia, and ends up appearing on Ellen, Good Morning America, The Daily Show, CNN, ABC News, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and many other shows to discuss her brave story of coming out in a conservative country like South Korea.

Eunjung Wins An Oscar

Eunjung Cyte Gif

While promoting in America as an LGBT ambassador, several top directors learn of Eunjung’s status as “the Meryl Streep of Korea” due to her past roles in Dream High, Coffee House, and White: The Melody of the Curse. She’s cast as the female lead opposite Ryan Gosling in a new action/drama film, and the pair subsequently win Oscars for their stunning performances. She also goes on a date with Keanu Reeves and begins to question her sexuality, but that’s another story…

Qri Becomes The Female President

Qri Gif

South Korea’s female president, Park Geun-hye, is so impressed by Qri’s leadership during T-ara’s comeback that she resigns and instates Qri in her presidential position. Feeling that title of “president” isn’t cute enough, Qri changes her official title to “Qrieen” and upgrades the country’s name to “Qrirea.”

T-ara’s New Single Is Titled “Lucky Lucky”

Pachinko T-ara

T-ara’s new single is titled “Lucky Lucky” with a gambling concept that compares finding love to winning a game of Pachinko. The MV is filmed in a Las Vegas casino, with separate dance scenes set in the Vegas desert. Below is the official tracklisting for the new mini-album.

JACKPOT! (F-ve Mini-Album)

1. Lucky Lucky

2. Lucky Lucky (Remix Ver.)

3. Lucky Lucky (Ballad Ver.)

4. Sexy Love (Remix Ver.)

5. Bikini feat. Davichi

6. Target (Korean Ver.)

T-ara, time to slay!

T-ara Boram GIF