Crayon Pop Bar Bar Bar Feature
Purely based on sales, Crayon Pop’s “Bar Bar Bar” is not the biggest K-pop song of the year, but it definitely is in terms of impact. “Bar Bar Bar” will go down in K-pop history as one of the genre’s most iconic girl group hits, right next to K-lassics like Wonder Girls’ “Tell Me,” Girls’ Generation’s “Gee,” KARA’s “Mister,” Brown Eyed Girls’ “Abracadabra,” and T-ara’s “Roly Poly.”

The success of “Bar Bar Bar” led Crayon Pop to sign an international record deal with Sony Music Korea, which has now spawned an official “global version” of the group’s viral video sensation (released through the newly-created CrayonPopVEVO).

This new version couldn’t be more disappointing and unnecessary if it tried. The original video looked like a bunch of girls unselfconsciously creating a pop masterpiece entirely by accident; the new version looks like a famous girl group actively trying to make the next “Gangnam Style,” which is exactly why it fails (they even recreate PSY’s famous elevator scene). It’s too slick, it’s too contrived, and worst of all it, it’s just not very funny.

My beautiful Slayon Pope, please stay away from these major labels and just stick to churning out your cheap DIY hits so you can become the ABBA of this generation. Having too many cooks in the kitchen will erode your endless charms and holy glow.