Christina Aguilera Lotus Promotion
Oooh, two juicy Christina Aguilera bombshells in one post!

Let’s start with Cee Lo. Homie was on Howard Stern earlier this week to plug the return of The Voice when he revealed something so shocking, SO outrageous, that you may never look at Lotus the same way again: CHRISTINA AGUILERA MAY NOT HAVE LEFT THE LAST SEASON OF THE VOICE BY CHOICE!

In the first four minutes of the interview, Cee Lo strongly implied that it was actually NBC’s decision to replace both he and Aggie with Usher and Shakira. Stern then asked if Cee Lo was upset that NBC gave him and Aggie the boot while Adam Levine and Blake Shelton were asked to stay, and he didn’t correct Stern, further fuelling my suspicions.

As we all know, last year Aggie claimed that she left the show by choice to promote Lotus, yet myself and every other pop fan on the planet was left confused when the entire Lotus campaign amounted to nothing more than one music video and a couple of random performances. And then there’s the fact that Aggie was super fat for the whole era, which doesn’t exactly scream, “I want my album to be a huge hit!“, does it? All female pop stars –Britney, Janet, Gaga, Ke$ha, and more– get in shape before dropping an album, but Aggie came out serving Lane Bryant-era Anna Nicole Smith realness — only fatter.

Was Aggie truly passionate about Lotus? Perhaps she was pressed that RCA became too involved in the project following the career-destroying floppage of Bionic, so she just didn’t give too much of a fuck about it and let the label do their thing.

Of course, the brief break from The Voice could have been completely mutual, and it might have been RCA who slacked-off with the promotion, not Christina. However, NBC has confirmed that they’ll be bringing both Usher and Shakira back for season six, so that’s something to think about. (It’s a little fishy, right?)

In other Aggie news, Lady Gaga has finally apologized for the beef that brought down Bionic!

She bowed down to Legend X during an appearance on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live (she’s really plugging “Applause” anywhere that will have her, isn’t she?) and placed all the blame for the beef on outside forces — taking zero responsibility for her own actions.

The Craft Sorry Gif

Aggie was a shady mofo for sure, but Gaga can’t sit next to Andy Cohen all wide-eyed and innocent like a pure little untarnished angel sent down from the heavens above and pretend that she had no part in the feud. She did absolutely nothing while her then-BFF, Perez Hilton, (who at the time, was actually still relevant) launched a smear campaign against Christina that virtually started the whole Bionic backlash in the first place. Gaga was living for all the good publicity she was getting as she continued doing anything and everything to claw her way to the top of the pops. Now flash forward to 2013 and Gaga’s being creamed by Katy Perry on the charts, and all of a sudden she’s “sorry.”

In the words of Legend X herself, “shut the fuck up!”