Wa$$up

In 2010, Nine Muses changed Korean music forever with “No Playboy.” In 2011, RaNia rocked the world with “Dr. Feel Good.” In 2012, we were blessed with Gangkiz. And now, in 2013, we have Wassup.

Yes, they’re really called “Wassup” (or WASSUP, or WA$$UP — I can’t figure out the correct stylization), and they’re marketed as K-pop’s first twerk group. They don’t really twerk, though; they kind of just shake their butts and squat like a bunch of ratchets covered in fake tan. Think Rihanna and Beyonce, only a million times better.

The group’s first single –the imaginatively-titled “Wassup”— is the musical equivalent of snorting crushed Ritalin. It’s supercharged hyper-pop, with way too much going on very little focus — much like Nicki Minaj’s entire career. The elegant angels of Wassup do their best to keep up with the breathless beats, alternating between cheerleader chanting, bad rapping, and exaggerated giggles. Meanwhile, the deep and introspective lyrics tell a powerful story of booty bouncing and being so attractive that everyone stares at your a$$. Designer labels are also name-dropped, just to give the song that extra dose of class and sophistication.

And if you think WASSUP’s exceptional talents are solely confined to their music, then think again. The group’s debut stage on Wednesday’s episode of Show Champion was almost as life-changing as a Crayon Pop performance. WASSUP’s queen bee, Nada, wore a shiny gold suit with matching knock-off Chanel earrings from the Chinese market, while the scrawny Nari dyed her hair a dull shade of purple and flashed her panties under her tight mini-dress. They were so fucking flawless that those desperate trolls in 2NE1 plagiarized their colourful concept and edgy, sexy fashion for their crappy M! Countdown comeback stage the following night, but they obviously paled in comparison when compared to Korea’s beautiful twerk-dols.

Bow down, bitches: The seven new Goddesses of K-pop have officially arrived.

  • Kris

    Dead at Nada’s earrings! Probably your most flawless analysis ever.

  • lildarien

    They really did slay that live performance. Rania are still my top kslut group, but this has put them on my radar for sure.

  • UncleFan

    As usual, I’m in love with the girl with purple hair.

    • Scandalous

      Girl with purple hair can dance.

  • raandall

    The song’s kinda forgettable but I love the name + lilac-haired girl’s look

  • Yallie

    Did you guys realize they quoted Azealia? If this is true, then this song is pure genious. The first verse of the debut song of the most hated pop artist right now? PURE FLAWLESSNESS
    anyways damn this song has so much going on and it’s so messy I just love it

    • niyahhill

      Azealia who banks?

  • Bluebeat

    The Rebecca Blacks of K-pop LMAO you can so tell that they all got fake tan.

  • Scandalous

    Hahah OMG
    Are they Korean? I don’t know man, this is…..kinda crappy to me. I hate bashing a person’s work but if they got rid of that style of rapping maybe. But I love how their dance is in sync.

    • James Smith III

      yes they’re korean

  • Guest

    Proph Jacques why haven’t you reviewed T-ara’s flawless new Japanese songs??? </3

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaKozcytd00

  • god! they’re horrible! lol

  • Johnnyyy

    I want Gangkiz back ):

  • James Smith III

    I COULD NOT WAIT TO HEAR WHAT U HAD TO SAY ABOUT THEM….i am satisfied

  • Sharon

    I like them more than I thought I would, but they fall into the so bad its good category. Their debut was as bad as their as their video quality.

  • AlanaKang

    Bout time you posted these flawless queens.
    Nada is my favorite!
    Yasss! A kpop bish who is dark with meat on her bones!
    They just need to be more polished…im assuming the company they are with is small and limited on certain things like getting big named producers/choreographers but they have potential…just wish the group wasnt so big.

  • KB

    The chanel bling bling tanned doll is so ghetto haha. I love it
    But damn, they are a mess.

  • Sunny

    i hate them so much. They will go where Gangkiz went.

  • Lee James

    Hmmm. Mixed feelings. I mean to start with I like all girl groups, and these girls are not terrible. Like the Geri Halliwel dress. And the live choreography is SO much better than the porno MV. However, the song is nauseating, and they’re not my type of girl group. I can never understand why people like slutty, trashy groups. What’s wrong with simply being beautiful and sexy? I dunno I just find it boring and cheap if the sexual suggestion is rammed down your throat.

    As for the tans, I thought Koreans still recognised that pale is beautiful? Or has the fake-tan industry finally managed to crack Korea and brainwash poor young girls into thinking they are not naturally beautiful?

    • AlanaKang

      So you think every korean girl is naturally pale?
      LOL honey im park korean and have family in korea and the only chicks I see walking around pale are the ones who “look” like they come from or have money.

      The average korean woman/girl I see has that “yellow” tint…and some even have southeast asian tans…so whats wrong with darker korean girls coming out onto the scene? Theyve been told for yearsss that they were ugly and undesirable. Let them live!

      • I think he’s just surprised, not shading them. We rarely see dark girls in kpop lol

      • Lee James

        Well I just get so fed up of living in the UK, where beautiful, beautiful girls with lovely pale skin have been somehow brainwashed to believe that they need to damage their skin in order to be beautiful. It really upsets me. Almost all girls here think their skin is naturally ugly and they need to get a tan to improve their looks! Therefore, one of the things I have always loved about kpop is that it would seem that the Koreans have a much better concept of natural beauty.

        Now are you telling me these pale girls are actually a minority and only picked BECAUSE they’re pale? That would seem quite surprising, given almost ALL kpop girls are pale. Though there is skin-colour bias going on all over the world. Here in the UK, you are far more likely to get a job in entertainment if you are black, and far less likely if you are asian.

        • AlanaKang

          b.s.

          people of color especially black people have had to deal with colorism issues for years! you know the saying “if your light then your right if your black then get back”…white/light/pale has been the symbol of beauty all over the world!

          you go to the philippines and who are the people being represented on tv? the hosts? stars? lightskin/spanish mixed looking people..not the dark/tanned/brown/negritos/aeta people.

          remember when yoobin from wondergirls first came out? they dragged her skull for being “tanned”…hyori lee had neitzens losing their minds when she had a bikini spread in comso magazine about 2 years back and she appeared very dark.

          and lots of kpop girls go through transformations, they have creams that make them lighter…there was a pic a while ago floating around that had before and after pics of kpop chicks and you could see the dramatic changes in color for A LOT of those women.

          As I stated before those lightening creams are expensive, generally when I would come across those who were very pale they tend to have money. Im not saying that no koreans are born pale…of course there are some who are naturally pale but the status and symbol of beauty in asia is to look like a ghost. Therefore causing an epidemic such as the one in jamaica to bleach ones skin and to become lighter to be more accepted and to cater that self-hatered.

          • Lee James

            What have I said that is “bs”?

            You think I am wrong to say that most British girls do not like their pale skin and try to tan? You think I am lying?

            Or do you think I am wrong to say that in the UK, black people are more likely to get a job in the entertainment industry than Asian people? Just look at the British charts, that says it all. There are twice as many Asian people than black people, but this is NOT reflected in entertainment. If you live in the UK, what makes you more of an expert than me? Surely I am entitled to speak about my own country?

            Or do you think I am wrong to say that discrimination based on skin colour goes on all over the world? I can think of many countries. One example is India, where pale is seen as beautiful and there is a huge industry for skin whitening. If you even said yourself that it goes on in the phillipines! So why are you disagreeing with me? What have I said that is “bs”?

            By the way I have never heard the saying “if your light then your right if your black then get back”. That is not known in the UK. That is a hideously racist thing to say and with the exception of a few rare incidents there is no general spirit of racism here.

  • If the song was actually good I’d probably be digging them as they’re doing something a bit different to your usual rookie but the song is just such a mess i can’t

    • The girl with the pink hair though…. Daaammmn

  • Suzy Sooyoung

    Love these classy ladies lmfao Their single si really good and the one in shiny gold suit is my fave <3

  • Quang Phạm

    So trashy but so damn good!
    And that girl with purple hair is super gorgeous.

  • Keyhoni ‘Mekufurii’ Johnson

    One, They’re amazing and if you’ve seen their dance hall cover then your opinion would change immediately. Two, You act like they’re in charge of their image. NO ONE IN KPOP IS IN CHARGE OF THEIR IMAGE. It’s all about the company. Three, Twerk Sluts……really? There wasn’t even twerking in this video, in the live performance, or in the teasers. They don’t twerk EVER! So everyone should just get off of Wassup’s junk and if you don’t like the music then don’t fucking listen to it. Simple as 1, 2, 3.

    • Kwon Yuri unnie

      thank u its not that damn dificult

  • KingBeaArthur

    I could care less about the twerking {twerking has reached its shelf life for me and needs to go the way of unnecessary dubstep asap} but my problem is the song & their vocals aren’t really up to par. I won’t write them off just yet; hopefully their next single is better.

    At least they have a few GORGEOUS members to keep you interested in them! Gotta appreciate the little things.

  • kei

    For insulting Beyonce I can understand what shitty taste you got anyway. Probably 00’s kid but whatever your review sucks. I dont say I like them but at least try to be objective and not a total asshole

    • What are you talking about? I LOVE this song and group and gave it a positive article you moron. Did you even read what I wrote?

  • Kwon Yuri unnie

    if yall dont like the damn group stop listening to it! its not that damn difficult. legit yal just mad that they actually made it somewhere and yall still at yall hole in the wall job making no money. nd for jacques, there is no need tomake

    • What are you talking about? I love this group.

  • KaYeon Lee

    I really just want to leave this new girl group alone because I know they’ve just recently come out with their first new single, but honestly, one thing bothered me. I admit, I really am a fan to 2NE1, and have been, and I don’t see how you have the right to compare them to this new girl group when they just came out with their single by calling them desperate trolls and accusing them of plagiarism. Plus, 2NE1 has been using that colorful concept and edgy, sexy fashion since they first debuted with their song Fire, and they are obviously much more experienced as they have all been through the trainee process and have also performed much more than Wassup. As shown in the video of them performing Do You Love Me at M! Countdown comeback stage, you can clearly hear real voices singing into the microphones, not just the recorded voices in the background. Wassup is talented in their own way with all the looks, but I’m just saying that they haven’t reached that level to match 2NE1.

  • Monster Hunter Aeos

    Shut the fuck up they are awesome you’re just ignorants so use to same ol’ same ol kpop is good but still is the same as the others. besides this is not the first group to twerk it or at least pop it theres minzy from 2ne1, hyuna from 4minute, min from miss a, gain BEG, and kara with the the Mr dance.

  • Guest

    Shut the fuck up they are awesome you’re just ignorants so use to same ol’ same ol kpop is good but still is the same as the others. besides this is not the first group to twerk it or at least pop it theres minzy from 2ne1, hyuna from 4minute, min from miss a, gain BEG, and kara with the the Mr dance.

  • Monster Hunter Aeos

    SHUT THE FUCK UP DUMBASS IS OBVIOUS YOUR JUST IGNORANT AS HELL.
    IN KOREA THERE REALLY GETTING POPULAR SO AS IN LATIN AMERICA, USA, BRAZIL, SPAIN AND MORE, I DONT SEE ANY HARM FROM A DANCE TREND PEOPLE LIKE YOUR ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SLAYING THE KPOP WITH THERE SHUT DOWN WAY OF THINKING.

    • makayla

      ACTUALLY A LOT OF KPOP FANS AND KOREAN FANS THINK THEY ARE STUPID AND SLUTS LIKE NADA WHEN SHE MOUTHED BLOW JOBS AND MADE ORGASM FACES ON TV SO STOP CALLING PEOPLE IGNORANT AND MOST OF THE TIMES FANS BOO THEM DUH IF YOUR THEIR FAN SO MUCH AND THINK THAT THEIR AWESOME YOU WOULD KNOW BITCHES. DON’T BLAME SOMEONE FOR THEIR OPINION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kanonno

    their debut song is so bad

    • makayla

      i think what you said is right. fuck all the other people