How is Avril Lavigne flopping when her current era is the best thing she’s done since Under My Skin? The music video for “Rock N Roll” is literally God. Fact.

Here’s my current ranking of the major pop girls dropping new albums this year.

Gleaming Gold: Avril Lavigne, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus

Solid Silver: Britney Spears

Rusty Bronze: Katy Perry, Mariah Carey, Rihanna

Coffee-Stained Paper Certificate For Participation: Beyonce

Obviously I didn’t include rookies (Ariana), irrelevants (Jessie J), men (Justin Timerblake), or chicks who already released albums recently-ish (Ke$ha).

Now gimme your rankings in the comments. I’m gonna be psychic and predict Britney will come first for, like, 90% of y’all?

  • Kris

    Why is Rihanna on the list? Is album 8 coming already? And dead at the Bey shade! I would put Miley in the same category as eBey tbh

    • guest

      Isn’t there always a rihanna album around November-ish?

    • Riyawna is already working on her new album and it’s rumored for release in November

      • MIKEE

        HATER!! RIHANNA NAVY HOE!!! PHUCK YO FAVE!!!

    • Lin Misfits

      She ALWAYS releases an album near Christmas, to stay relevant and make money. Not that it’s a bad thing, but she’s had that formula for a few years now.

      Also she’s changed her hair style and has been seen going to studios for MONTHS now, so it’s highly likely she’ll release an album :)

  • guest

    Are you going to review Sunmi’s comeback?

    • Lin Misfits

      He said yes on twitter :D

    • UncleFan

      I’ll give you my review for free: Sunmi must have spent the last 3 years stripping, hooking or devil-worshipping… ’cause she sure as hell wasn’t studying biochemistry or managerial accounting. Whatever she was doing, it paid off in spades, because that video is FIRE. Seriously, how often do you get to see a Korean idol barefoot?

      • Josh Chinnery

        JYP must want solo Sunmi to work because that video, song, choreo, etc was ON POINT!!! I can honestly see why people are pissy about Lim joining the Wonder Girls as her replacement. Girl can barely keep a tune and she’s just plain bad as a rapper >_>

      • Dhruv Angrup

        i agree with you on the barefoot comment….that’s rare and pleasant :)

  • Suzy Sooyoung

    I fucking love this video it’s so different and unique and FUNNY. And before I was on the fence about the song but now I totally unashamedly love it! <3

  • Sunny

    The video was amazeballs. Campy for all the right reasons *_*

    • Bobs

      Amazeballs.

  • Synchorotical

    Even though she’s quite not yet major, I would like to add Selena Gomez to the Surprisingly Good I’ll give them a B-class gold certification category. And Demi Lovato down there with the Rusty Bronze girls

    • Lin Misfits

      I’m not digging Selena yet. She’s still trying to find her signature sound. She hasn’t fully developed into an artist yet.

      • Synchorotical

        The songs on her Stars Dance album were solid dance pop songs that could totally be Britney songs which I totally dig. She didn’t try to be really creative nor original on this one but I salute her efforts :D Her past albums have like amazing singles but decent at best album tracks (except for the previous one, that was quite good too) ^^

      • Fajar Zakhri

        Come and Get It is proper amazing though

    • UncleFan

      Demi was cool when she started out (remember Get Back?), but she’s turned really sappy and lame and self-referential in latter years… I call it the Diva Disease. You gotta be as old and awesome as Barbra Streisand before I’ll tolerate that shit.

      Selena is a game-changer – she’s so freakin’ young and hot, she’s like a gateway drug to K-pop!

      • Yes! I looooove the Disney Demi. And am I the only that doesn’t like that Skyscraper song? OTL Give Your Heart A Break was cool though <3

        The thing with Selena is that she doesn't try waaaaaay to hard to be old, sexy or be like 'LOOK! IM A GROWN UP NOW SO I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT' like many other popstars usually do. She's wonderfully evolved from her Disney days to her current era, its pleasant in the eyes. Just the right amount of sexiness (and I haven't seen Spring Breakers so iunno) and yes her songs are like my main jams when Im tired listening to kpop <3

        • UncleFan

          Yeah, Skyscraper sucks, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.

          I’ve got Spring Breakers, but I still haven’t finished watching it. Ashley Benson and Selena in the same movie? Heck, Vanessa and the other chick aren’t chopped liver, either. I’ll watch like 10 minutes of it and then have to take a little break, if you know what I mean ;)

          • AHAHAHAHAHAHA yes I do you naughty naughty xD I love Vanessa too <3 Identified was quite flawless tbqh

  • Michael Curd

    Avril Lavigne is absolutely KILLING it with flawless pop-rock realness – definitely one of the coolest things she’s ever done! it’s such a shame Epic Records have Epic-ly fucked this era up with their shitty promotion and release date push-backs. REALLY hope Epic gets their shit together and DOESN’T delay the album back to November like the rumours are saying..!

  • UncleFan

    Miley could easily end up being the next Queen of Pop. She’s totally driven and all the right kinds of crazy, too.

    • Akie_Of_Winterfell

      The delusional level is very strong in this one.

  • boy92

    Dont you think that Beyawnce might run the game in 2014 since Katy, Gaga, Avril, Miley, Rihanna, Ciara, JT, Drake, Jay, Kanye are taking over in 2013. I’m so afraid that we dont get any new music, except from eBey, Onika, or Keri Hilson.

  • Trey

    The real queen B of course, aka Brit Brit. Between the tweets her and her writers and producers are tweeting this album seems likes its going to slay my and many others lifes!

  • 364Leinad

    I’m confused, how is Beyonce able to obtain a participation award when she clearly isn’t going to be releasing anything this year?

    • Oboy Moner

      Shade shade shade. We’ll shade a Beyonce with a tumor.

    • Because Matthew Knowles called to threaten Jaques’s life unless Beyonce was mentioned in this post.

  • SD

    Wow – Winnie from the Wonder Years looks hotter than ever.

  • KingBeaArthur

    No Kylie? :'(

    This is easily one of the best MVs of the year! I was laughing the first 30 seconds alone [“Oh, my new Sony phone is ringing” – kween] but the lobster fight, DANICA freakin’ MCKELLAR, and an epic bear-shark battle later my life is ended!

    Win or lose, Avril just cemented her place in my heart forever.

  • SerferTJ

    The Mother F*cking Princess is SLAYING all your favs!!!
    Avril, X-Tina, Paramore, and Janealle Monae have definitely had the best comebacks in the past 12 months and you will DEAL with ALL these confident, unique, and outspoken bad bitches!

    Ain’t nobody got time to rate all them other lessors…

    • Honestly, minus the incredible “Your Body,” Xtina’s comeback was beyond awful. The management, execution, and promotion was shocking, and Lotus was so super hit and miss. I actually think Lotus is her worst album.

      • SerferTJ

        That’s all true and I honestly agree (but the good songs of Lotus outweighed the bad), and I’mma let you finish, but Christina Aguilera had one of the best 1st single of the past year.

        http://www.josepvinaixa.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/BombDiva.gif

        • FreakyFlyBri

          I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with what you said about Your Body being perhaps the best first single to come from a diva in a long time. Honestly, I wish she would have just gone with this sound for an entire album. And I fucking loved the video, this song should have been a hit for her.

  • maliboomer88

    Bridgit Mendler is coming for all those nappy weaves, one County Fair show at a time!

  • MIKEE

    Where the fuck is Natalia Kills and Cher!? Smh…
    This has to be the best MV of the year so far! Giving me all kinds of Tank Girl realness and her kiss w/Winnie Cooper! YAS!! Billy Zane will be eternally sexy. More Avril please!

  • reone

    Video=perfect. This was the most entertaining video I’ve seen in ages. And I love the song. I haven’t listened to her in a couple of years it seems like, but she’s still capable of great Pop it seems.

  • Johnnyyy

    When did you start to stan for Lady Gaga!? You ranked her higher than Britney, seriously!?

  • Orihime

    Isn’t this the same shit she’s been releasing since she debuted? Her music never progresses

  • Bojan Goranović

    Anticipating Mariah’s release the most, but also Britney and then Rihanna. Also, I want to hear Timberlake’s new songs, since I enjoyed “20/20 E” .
    Thanks for including Mimi dearest in the group of “major pop girls”.

  • Akie_Of_Winterfell

    I cannot take that Gold medal winners seriously. Next.

    Leave it to the Holy Spearit to create craziness over a countdown that people don’t know why it is even posted.

  • Gonçalo Fernandes

    I kinda agree with your list except I would move Mariah to Gleaming Gold and downgrade Miley to Rusty Bronze…I’m sorry but the whole “I’m so gangsta, my album’s called Bangerz” thing ain’t working for me.
    Now about QueenLavigne…she released a flawless mv on a flawless era…why is this news? It should be already commonly accepted she makes no wrongs xD

  • tiggles

    Holyshit. Is that Billy Zane?!?!?!?! Still got it.

  • Britney Lover

    GODNEYYYYYYY!!!!!

  • Lee James

    None of the above. I loathe them all. Except Britney. “Ooh La La” was one of my favourite songs/videos of the year. As for favourite singers, I’m more of a fan of songs than people. Generally, all my favourite pop is either Asian, or Christian music. The only big names I like I can think of right now are Ellie Goulding, Marina, A*M*E, and Gabriella Cilmi. Then in the USA, I like the Disney/Hollywood Records lot (Selena, Demi, Bridgit). But Ariana is without doubt my favourite US star at the minute. Everyone else is ugly and trashy IMHO.

  • Connor Smith

    OMG this is perfect.

  • Luke

    This video is A FUCKIN MAZING lmao! She just needs to get airplay, This song is a HIT… Bitch just snatched the best song and video out of the big ones at the moment.

  • Andrew Rod

    When the guy (or girl it can be a girl who was underneath the mask thing) throw the fake baby at her and she hit it I laugh my ass off on the floor and the beginning was so funny, is all so her and is so awesome, I love it.
    And even I would love to debate of the best comebacks and shit and you guys know that I can throw shade, I’m just gonna play it cool and be grateful that we got all this new music and stuff this year.

  • LizzyG

    Glad you made this post and gave that song and video the recognition it deserves, I can’t understand why it’s not making waves either. There’s a lot of music out there that goes no where and we can blame it on the labels or the masses having bad taste. I think it’s a bit of both. That being said I’m most looking forward to Britney, Beyonce and Mariah, that is if they can all bring it. I think I’m long lost in hope that 90s Mariah will return, late 90s early 2000s Britney will return and Beyonce just gets her shit together. I’m also looking forward to Zendaya, maybe she can fill the shoes that Cassie never finished filling herself? I mean the knock off is never as good as the original ie Mariah and Ariana but they can suffice.

    AND BTW, how atrocious is it that Ariana’s new song with that guy from The Wanted is being compared to One Sweet Day?? Come on, as if… http://youtu.be/aZPAlyoYw1g

    • LizzyG

      Is there a way to make it so the youtube video will actually show up and be play-able in a post?

  • Avril Lavigne is absolutely killing it. She just does Avril, again and again. I don’t feel like she’s cheap, or a rip-off, or a copycat. I like it. I’d like to say Britney is my #1 Idol here, but seeing as she’s done nothing but disappoint the last couple of years, I’m not sure i’m gonna count on much from her just yet….. i’ll admit though, I’m on my knees praying i’m wrong!

    Lady GaGa’s ‘Applause’ has been ruling my world these past few days, so i’m definitely hoping ‘ARTPOP’ is a rise from the ‘Egotistical This Way’ era.

  • ChrisM

    This just made me fall in love with Avril again!

    Gleaming Gold: Kylie, Britney, Gaga & Shakira

  • Bobs

    Is this a SNL parody of Rihanna’s Hard?

  • Bobby

    Its funny because even without any new material Beyoncé is slaying everyone else you’ve mentioned. Superbowl, multiple endorsements, flawless concert reviews on a sold-out world tour, most talked about moment on twitter, highest selling Vogue, and highest selling fragrance. This is without any new material.
    But its inevitable Beyoncé shade that makes you feel good. Its just as pathetic as ThatGrapeJuice is with Rihanna.

    • So fucking dead @ you taking this seriously LMAO.

  • ethan_de_vil

    WHY is there no share to tumblr feature on your blog i am dying

    • I didn’t even know you could do that on tumblr LOL. I’ll add a tumblr share in today then. Thanks!

  • Bi Yoon-Se

    Is that a jab at the Telephone video?? Or is it just a coincidence that it’s the same location?

  • misteriousveiwerwoman

    Britney, Katy, Miley, Avril, I’m keen for those albums. Gaga bores me, Beyonce bores me, Mariah bores me, and Rihanna could regain me as a fan.