The Saturdays Gentleman Flop

Here’s a summary of what’s been happening with that awful Saturdays group.

  • The shittiest most generic song of 2013, “What About Us,” tops the UK mid-weeks and looks set to become The Saturdays first No. 1 single.
  • Girls Aloud break up.
  • The Saturdays make a conscious decision to start swagger-jaggering Girls Aloud harder than they ever have before.
  • The Saturdays release “Gentleman,” which sounds EXACTLY like Chemistry era Girls Aloud, except not as good. It’s actually a decent Girls Aloud knock-off until the final part, when The Saturdays start name-dropping famous men and screaming about the ’90s and omg it’s just so embarrassing.
  • The Saturdays go out for champagne and toast to their future No. 1 hit and new status as the nation’s girl group.
  • “Gentleman” totally flops by debuting at No. 14.
  • The Saturdays try to work with Dev Hynes but he doesn’t return their calls.

Poor Sats.