Beyonce Mrs Carter

So, you know this whole tiring saga around Beyonce’s fifth studio album? Well, The Hollywood Reporter has just published an article airing out Klown Bey’s total incompetence and spilling the tea on the whole damn situation, and it’s a must-read for those of you looking to take pleasure in someone else’s stupidity.

Basically, according to THR, Columbia wanted the album out by Spring (March to June), which is what everyone assumed was going to happen after all the Super Bowl hooplah, but Bey couldn’t get her shit together in time. They now want it out by Fall to capitalize on The Mrs. Sharter Show world tour and to compete against Katy Perry and Lady GaGa’s new albums, but again, Bey probably won’t pull it together in time. That last delay’s probably for the best, though, considering that GaGa and Katy would’ve obliterated the “Video Phone” chanteuse on the charts. Bey hasn’t been on that top tier level since 4 flopped. Perhaps she can release 5 when Jessie J drops her next album?

Anyway, THR goes on to say that eBey auditioned over 50 songs for the album, but has decided to, “scrap them all and start over.” This is backed up by an interview Ne-Yo gave Billboard last month stating that Bey’s people are still trying to figure out the direction of the album, as well as Diplo, who basically said the same thing but got a little more specific with it, revealing that Team eBey has been, “hitting me up for brand new ideas,” and that he was called to, “fix songs.” He also said that a song he worked on for the album was scrapped.

According to THR, Columbia is getting “increasingly more anxious” as it looks back on, “the costly 2011 album, 4,” which was recorded around the globe while Bey followed Kanye and Jay on their Watch The Throne world tour. THS also specifically mentions that 4 was Bey’s lowest-selling album to date, and that both it and the upcoming new disc were done without the aid of Mathew Knowles, who Bey fired when she found out he got his sideline ho pregnant so she could manage her own career herself.

In other words, Beyonce can’t do shit without Mathew pulling the strings. So much for the independent, grown ass woman who don’t need no man to take care of business, right?

Bey’s team graciously responded when contacted by THR, coolly stating, “there was never an album release date” scheduled, which is believed by NO ONE AT ALL. Do they really expect us to buy that Bey performed at the Super Bowl, signed a sponsorship deal with Pepsi, launched a world tour, and released three new songs (“Grown Woman,” “Standing On The Sun,” and “Bow Down”) without having a release date for her new album at least roughly penciled in? Bitch, please.

Beyawnce, honey, if you want to salvage what’s left of your dwindling career, get Mathew Knowles back on board. You’re not sharp enough to steer this ship on your own. You ain’t Mariah Carey ditching Tommy Motola; you’re Diana Ross when she left Motown, or Janet Jackson when she dropped Jam & Lewis — i.e. a total flop.

Beyonce ear piece gif