Miley Cyrus Jimmy Kimmel 2013

I don’t know about all of you, but I’ve been waiting with baited breath for Miley Cyrus to perform her hip-hop anthem, “We Can’t Stop,” for the first time. After almost dying from asphyxiation, I was finally able to exhale earlier today when the rap icon held one of those mini-concerts thingies on Jimmy Kimmel, and she did not disappoint.

She opened the performance by having sex with one of her backup dancers while wearing a ghetto bomber jacket that Faith Evans probably left at Tupac’s house back in ’96. She then dropped it and just lazily gyrated around the stage naked like a more ratchet version of Rihanna, which was fine since she served with the vocals.

After that epic display, we were treated to a second performance with some underground rapper that Miley picked up on a Compton street corner (apparently his name is William or something). I don’t know what song they were singing, but it sounded like Ke$ha’s “Crazy Kids,” except crap.

There was also an interview segment, in which Miley made a point of saying how she’s always high and hangs out with Snoop Lion… Coz bitch is a straight up OG mother fuckas!!!!!!